


In which Dale Cooper should keep his eyes on the road

by redactredact



Series: There Were Always Two [1]
Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 05:10:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6142507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redactredact/pseuds/redactredact
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“—and look, there’s another one! See how they’ve got their tails up, they’re signaling to the others that danger is near—”</p>
<p>“Was that the exit?” Albert deadpans in a tone indicating that yes, that was the exit, and no, this is not the first time they’ve missed it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which Dale Cooper should keep his eyes on the road

“—and look, there’s another one! See how they’ve got their tails up, they’re signaling to the others that danger is near—”

“Was that the exit?” Albert deadpans in a tone indicating that yes, that was the exit, and no, this is not the first time they’ve missed it.

Dale grimaces and tears his eyes from the family of deer.

“We’ll catch the next one.”

It’s not his fault there are so _many_  of them—at least a half dozen, and a six-point buck if his count is correct. But there’s always something, isn’t there? If it’s not deer, it’s glimmering rocks in road cuts, or birch trees with peeling bark like paperwork in a house fire. They saw a bald eagle once, and Dale nearly took the car off the road.

Albert unfolds the map, frowning.

“By ‘the next one’ I assume you mean ‘we’re going to keep driving for another forty minutes, miss our appointment with the locals, piss off our fourth small-town sheriff this month, get an angry phone call from our dear Gordon, and spend the night cooped up in yet another shithole that dreamed of growing up to be a motel but couldn’t afford the tuition.’”

Dale is generally a fine driver, otherwise it would be Albert (who—despite appearances to the contrary—enjoys being alive almost as much as he enjoys smoking, the sound of his own voice, and giving Dale a hard time) behind the wheel. But Albert’s on map duty today, leaving Dale to keep the Bureau sedan in a generally forward sort of motion.

He’s learned to love these winding roads (and to take the turns slower so Albert doesn’t get carsick). He loves the way the mountains rise up in the distance until you lose track of elevation and then suddenly you’re inside them, wrapped up, embraced by rock on every side, like the earth itself is reaching out to—

“ _COOPER!_ ” Albert yells, and there’s a _deer—_

Dale slams on the brakes and jerks the wheel and it’s a miracle he doesn’t flip the car, but the tires stay on the road and they spin almost a full 180 and the deer bounds off into the woods.

His knuckles are white on the steering wheel and they’re both breathing hard but they’re alive. No airbags deployed. No damage to Bureau property, or to Bureau agents, aside from a moment of sheer terror.

“Somebody up there must really like you, Coop,” Albert says after a minute, glancing over at Dale like he can hardly believe they’re both still there, and it looks almost like he’s considering smiling. But he doesn’t, because near-death experiences are just part of the job, and the longer he hangs around Dale Cooper, the more of them he has.

(And besides, when you smile at Coop he always smiles back, and every time that happens Albert digs his own grave a little deeper.)

Dale has to make a conscious effort to loosen his grip on the wheel before he can turn the car back around. They haven’t seen another vehicle for miles, thank God, and he’s got room to maneuver as long as he keeps his eyes open and his focus on the road ahead.

There’s a click, and a soft, familiar whirring.

“Diane, this is Albert Rosenfield—”

“ _Albert! Give me that—_ ”

“ _Eyes on the road, Coop._ Diane, it is 3:23 PM, and we were just presented with an excellent opportunity to shuffle off this mortal coil because FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper has the attention span of a hyperactive toddler.”

**Author's Note:**

> ‘Things you said while we were driving’ from [this list](http://lilloury.tumblr.com/post/110395333021/send-me-a-ship-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write-a). Part of a collaborative project with @laughingpineapple. (Cross-posted from tumblr.)


End file.
